Had my follow up today and all is well. My doctor is impressed with how plyable my left boob skin is for normally when an expander is removed the skin tends to shrink up. I was impressive with how well I took care of the left boob skin.....and I informed her that I took care of nothing and did nothing, and this was all natural. BUT, if I would have been informed of the casualties that could have happened I might have taken much better care of it. Well, it is all past now so the future is what I am looking into, and so far so good.
I start expanding April 11th at 3pm and end on May 25th at 9am. Can't wait.... and then no surgeries until September....life will be almost normal.....
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Falling is for Sissies
We had a game today and it was supposed to be at home, but we got rained out and headed to Pleasant Hill. Things were going great, Jeremy, Darcy, Tricia and Tony were taking care of everything and so I really just had to coach.
On the way out to the field from the dugout I decided to start coaching a kid on her fielding and wouldn't you know it, I step, foot goes up, foot comes down and ball rolls right under me. I am falling. Now when you fall you really only have seconds to fully figure out how you are going to manage it - Put your hands out, face plant, roll, do a somersault..... not much time to really devise a great exit strategy.
Drum roll please......I start to put my hands out to catch myself and apparently thought better of it for I just tucked my left arm and rolled onto my side and back. I laid there, then rolled over onto my back and continued to do the self assessment to see if anything hurt anymore than it should. And wouldn't you know it, Jeremy was standing right over me and just picked me right up. He kept asking me if I was OK, while my brain was still doing a check-in with my various body parts. I was on some pretty good pain meds and things just don't tend to work that fast. I answered with an, "I am fine," so he brushes me off, Darcy and Tricia come over to finish the dirt brush off, and we all go back to pre-game.
My pride was much more wounded than any physical body part. It's hard to be cool when you're falling right after surgery......oh well....it was terribly funny.
On the way out to the field from the dugout I decided to start coaching a kid on her fielding and wouldn't you know it, I step, foot goes up, foot comes down and ball rolls right under me. I am falling. Now when you fall you really only have seconds to fully figure out how you are going to manage it - Put your hands out, face plant, roll, do a somersault..... not much time to really devise a great exit strategy.
Drum roll please......I start to put my hands out to catch myself and apparently thought better of it for I just tucked my left arm and rolled onto my side and back. I laid there, then rolled over onto my back and continued to do the self assessment to see if anything hurt anymore than it should. And wouldn't you know it, Jeremy was standing right over me and just picked me right up. He kept asking me if I was OK, while my brain was still doing a check-in with my various body parts. I was on some pretty good pain meds and things just don't tend to work that fast. I answered with an, "I am fine," so he brushes me off, Darcy and Tricia come over to finish the dirt brush off, and we all go back to pre-game.
My pride was much more wounded than any physical body part. It's hard to be cool when you're falling right after surgery......oh well....it was terribly funny.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Post Surgery - Left Expander
Apparently I forgot how much it hurt to have one's breast messed with and chest muscle expanded - OUCH!
I woke up in surgery recovery with very watery eyes and a whole lot of pain radiating from my left chest area. I will say one thing, "Why did I say no to the pain pump?" Stupidity! I had the chance to have it, Dr. Havard offered, I said no along with, "It can't be that bad..."
Let me tell you something sister it can!
The pain became manageable and they sent me home. Driving was awful and you feel every little bump, not comfortable. But we made it, and I tried to lay on the couch and watch TV but the pain was practically unbearable and the show Jeremy and I were watching was not taking my mind off of the pain. The pain pills were not taking the edge off AT ALL! Practice was at 4pm and I decided to go with Jeremy. No sense sitting at home trying to forget about the pain I was experiencing, at least by going to practice I could focus on something else so I wouldn't keep obsessing about how much pain I was in.
Practice was fun, the girls did sliding practice and loved it. Then we did some diving drills and played a game. Well, duh, I didn't do any of it, just stand around, but at least the pain seemed to lessen. Jeremy even brought a chair for me to use and sit in....didn't happen, just kept pacing and coaching, couldn't help myself. But hey, I wasn't thinking about the pain.
When I got home, Jeremy got the ice bags ready and I iced and fell right to sleep. The exercise was helpful, I am going to say.
I woke up in surgery recovery with very watery eyes and a whole lot of pain radiating from my left chest area. I will say one thing, "Why did I say no to the pain pump?" Stupidity! I had the chance to have it, Dr. Havard offered, I said no along with, "It can't be that bad..."
Let me tell you something sister it can!
The pain became manageable and they sent me home. Driving was awful and you feel every little bump, not comfortable. But we made it, and I tried to lay on the couch and watch TV but the pain was practically unbearable and the show Jeremy and I were watching was not taking my mind off of the pain. The pain pills were not taking the edge off AT ALL! Practice was at 4pm and I decided to go with Jeremy. No sense sitting at home trying to forget about the pain I was experiencing, at least by going to practice I could focus on something else so I wouldn't keep obsessing about how much pain I was in.
Practice was fun, the girls did sliding practice and loved it. Then we did some diving drills and played a game. Well, duh, I didn't do any of it, just stand around, but at least the pain seemed to lessen. Jeremy even brought a chair for me to use and sit in....didn't happen, just kept pacing and coaching, couldn't help myself. But hey, I wasn't thinking about the pain.
When I got home, Jeremy got the ice bags ready and I iced and fell right to sleep. The exercise was helpful, I am going to say.
Surgery - Left expaner
Well today is the day.... hopefully the day I get to look more normal. I get my left expander put back in, and I am excited, nervous, and scared. Surgery is never a fun thing and the waking up with pain is never anything to look forward to. I am scheduled for 7:30 to get in and be out by 10:15....it really shouldn't take that long.
I hope this is the last event for awhile and I can just move on after this. Then September I will get the real silicone boobs put in, not because it takes that long to expand, but because I want to enjoy my summer with no surgeries, recoveries, or trauma to my body.....we'll see.
I hope this is the last event for awhile and I can just move on after this. Then September I will get the real silicone boobs put in, not because it takes that long to expand, but because I want to enjoy my summer with no surgeries, recoveries, or trauma to my body.....we'll see.
Tamoxifen
So, my appointment with Dr. Lee was uneventful....I did the usual 45 minute wait, and she came in, was really nice, gave me a hug, looked at my ankles - swollen, then we talked about the Tamoxifen. I was off of it then for four days and they were the best four days of my life. I didn't realize how awful the stuff was until I wasn't taking it anymore. I have been sleeping, the hot flashes are less in most cases although sometimes I have a big one, I am not as restless, and now the swelling is going down.
She has taken me off of it and off of everything for now and we will revisit in May with my follow up and probably start on Evista. Oh, this drug has its own round of side effects and it doesn't treat recurrence according to all the stuff I have read....so, why take it! I am getting a second opinion.
She has taken me off of it and off of everything for now and we will revisit in May with my follow up and probably start on Evista. Oh, this drug has its own round of side effects and it doesn't treat recurrence according to all the stuff I have read....so, why take it! I am getting a second opinion.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Swelling
So, I lived with swelling all of last week and didn't really do much about it, but complain.....out loud, but only my husband was around, and so it may as have been under my breath. He doesn't like to hear me complaining - I do appreciate that....a person doesn't get anywhere complaining. But Thursday, last week, I woke up and my ankles were still huge, my hands and wrists were all swelled up, and my eyelids. And painful..... I called the Doctor. They called me back and told me to go directly to the Emergency Room....NOW. And of course I sat on the phone and asked if I could just go to urgent care, they are cheaper for my insurance and I tried to explain.... the nurse wanted nothing of my explanation, and said go now. And I was headed to the Corvallis ER.
I get there, they check me in, I get a room. On my way, I call Jeremy, Darcy, and my mom to let them know what was going on. But really I knew nothing of what was going on, and had nothing to say except I was swollen. So Jeremy was in Seattle for training and he was going to devise a plan to get home from there and would be on his way. But I also told him that he should just wait until test results come back before he jumps that ship. And besides, I knew my mom was going to leave work so I knew someone would be there with me.
In my room, I am hanging out in my pretty hospital gown, and waiting for the doctor to come in. He does, checks me out, and pushes on my various swollen parts. Disgusting is all I have to say about that. He pushed on my ankles first and boy did it leave a humungous dent....gross! Then way up my leg into my calf he pushed and I was swollen there too.....hahahaha I just thought I really was that fat, so it felt good to say I was swollen.....
They drew blood. They were checking my liver and kidney function because that can be one cause of swelling, and he didn't think it was a blood clot because in theory I wouldn't be evenly swollen all over. I waited.....
An hour and a half later.....normal bloodwork, all looks good. I wait. About a half hour or probably longer, by now I have lost all track of time, the doctor comes in with an ultrasound machine because he wants to check my legs for clots. So he runs the thing on my upper thigh in my carotid artery on both sides and behind my knees (apparently those are the places to see a clot), and nothing. I am fine. My ER trip proved to be expensive and nothing..... I am sent home with, "You have edema. Dr. Lee (my oncologist) says to stop taking the Tamoxifen, take this water pill we will be giving you, and follow up with Dr. Lee next week."
So, if you have read any of my other posts, the Tamoxifen is what is blocking any of the estrogen positive cells remaining in my body that might be cancerous. I take this for the next five years to prevent chane of recurrence. Studies have shown that by doing this you cut your risk in half, so mine would go below 5% by taking this. It is hormone therapy, and is really doing a number on my body, and here it goes again, giving me Edema - which is caused by hormone changes, thus swelling me up like a baloon. And mind you I have only been on this for about 4 weeks.
And you can bet as soon as I leave, I call Dr. Lee's office and make my appointment - it is today at 4:30 - and try to find out more of why I am stopping this very important drug. I speak with the nurse and she tells me that even though this drug is good for my recurrence rate, we have to weigh the risks and benefits, and right now the risks are overtaking the benefits -my severe hot flashes, no sleep, restlessness, fatigue, muscle aches, and now edema. Huh, makes sense.
Well, after all of this, Jeremy really wants me to stop this stuff, he sees my quality of life is just deteriorating because of this. He thinks since I have had the mastectomy and chemo, my onco-type score was low, 18, my risk is already low. I have been off of Tamoxifen now since Thursday night, and I have had the best sleep of my life on Friday, Saturday nights. Last night wasn't so great, too much thinking about my mortality.
I see Dr. Lee today.....and I cannot wait. I don't want to go back on the stuff, but I also know by not, the nasty cancer could come back. But whose to say it doesn't come back if I take the drug. More decisions are to be made.......lovely!
I get there, they check me in, I get a room. On my way, I call Jeremy, Darcy, and my mom to let them know what was going on. But really I knew nothing of what was going on, and had nothing to say except I was swollen. So Jeremy was in Seattle for training and he was going to devise a plan to get home from there and would be on his way. But I also told him that he should just wait until test results come back before he jumps that ship. And besides, I knew my mom was going to leave work so I knew someone would be there with me.
In my room, I am hanging out in my pretty hospital gown, and waiting for the doctor to come in. He does, checks me out, and pushes on my various swollen parts. Disgusting is all I have to say about that. He pushed on my ankles first and boy did it leave a humungous dent....gross! Then way up my leg into my calf he pushed and I was swollen there too.....hahahaha I just thought I really was that fat, so it felt good to say I was swollen.....
They drew blood. They were checking my liver and kidney function because that can be one cause of swelling, and he didn't think it was a blood clot because in theory I wouldn't be evenly swollen all over. I waited.....
An hour and a half later.....normal bloodwork, all looks good. I wait. About a half hour or probably longer, by now I have lost all track of time, the doctor comes in with an ultrasound machine because he wants to check my legs for clots. So he runs the thing on my upper thigh in my carotid artery on both sides and behind my knees (apparently those are the places to see a clot), and nothing. I am fine. My ER trip proved to be expensive and nothing..... I am sent home with, "You have edema. Dr. Lee (my oncologist) says to stop taking the Tamoxifen, take this water pill we will be giving you, and follow up with Dr. Lee next week."
So, if you have read any of my other posts, the Tamoxifen is what is blocking any of the estrogen positive cells remaining in my body that might be cancerous. I take this for the next five years to prevent chane of recurrence. Studies have shown that by doing this you cut your risk in half, so mine would go below 5% by taking this. It is hormone therapy, and is really doing a number on my body, and here it goes again, giving me Edema - which is caused by hormone changes, thus swelling me up like a baloon. And mind you I have only been on this for about 4 weeks.
And you can bet as soon as I leave, I call Dr. Lee's office and make my appointment - it is today at 4:30 - and try to find out more of why I am stopping this very important drug. I speak with the nurse and she tells me that even though this drug is good for my recurrence rate, we have to weigh the risks and benefits, and right now the risks are overtaking the benefits -my severe hot flashes, no sleep, restlessness, fatigue, muscle aches, and now edema. Huh, makes sense.
Well, after all of this, Jeremy really wants me to stop this stuff, he sees my quality of life is just deteriorating because of this. He thinks since I have had the mastectomy and chemo, my onco-type score was low, 18, my risk is already low. I have been off of Tamoxifen now since Thursday night, and I have had the best sleep of my life on Friday, Saturday nights. Last night wasn't so great, too much thinking about my mortality.
I see Dr. Lee today.....and I cannot wait. I don't want to go back on the stuff, but I also know by not, the nasty cancer could come back. But whose to say it doesn't come back if I take the drug. More decisions are to be made.......lovely!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Neuropathy - The Fun Never Ends
Chemotherapy-induced (chemo-induced) peripheral neuropathy may be called CIPN for short. It is a set of symptoms caused by damage to the nerves that are further away from the brain and spinal cord. These distant nerves are called peripheral nerves. They carry sensations (feeling) to the brain and control the movement of our arms and legs. They also control the bladder and bowel, though these nerves are affected less often. Chemo-induced peripheral neuropathy can be a disabling side effect of cancer treatment. It is caused by some of the chemotherapy drugs used to treat cancer."
http://www.cancer.org/Treatment/TreatmentsandSideEffects/PhysicalSideEffects/ChemotherapyEffects/PeripheralNeuropathy/peripheral-neuropathy-caused-by-chemotherapy-toc
And ladies and gentleman, I have it. This is the part where the pom-poms come out and I do a little cheer right? Ummmmm.....no.
It is nothing you want to have, and the more I read about it, the more it sucks. I have a constant tingling, burning sensation in my fingers and I have it somewhat in my toes. I am taking Hydroxyzone for it, and can take and anti-depressant, ametrytiline which helps to calm the nerves. It also gives you some weird dreams. I am holding off on that one as long as I can. I had to take it to help prevent anymore reactions after the second chemo, and it worked. But the things I dreamed..... crazy.....
http://www.cancer.org/Treatment/TreatmentsandSideEffects/PhysicalSideEffects/ChemotherapyEffects/PeripheralNeuropathy/peripheral-neuropathy-caused-by-chemotherapy-toc
And ladies and gentleman, I have it. This is the part where the pom-poms come out and I do a little cheer right? Ummmmm.....no.
It is nothing you want to have, and the more I read about it, the more it sucks. I have a constant tingling, burning sensation in my fingers and I have it somewhat in my toes. I am taking Hydroxyzone for it, and can take and anti-depressant, ametrytiline which helps to calm the nerves. It also gives you some weird dreams. I am holding off on that one as long as I can. I had to take it to help prevent anymore reactions after the second chemo, and it worked. But the things I dreamed..... crazy.....
And now have a call into my doctor because my freaking feet and hands are just absolutely swollen. You can't even see my ankle bones anymore. Just call me sausage legs people....what an awesome name! Not sure what they are going to do about it right now. I am supposed to have surgery in one week to have my left expander put back in but with all of this new stuff going on, maybe I won't......it sucks to be me sometimes.
At least I have coaching to keep my mind off of how horrible all of this really is. And it is going to get me back in shape too.....well, I hope.
At least I have coaching to keep my mind off of how horrible all of this really is. And it is going to get me back in shape too.....well, I hope.
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