Thursday, January 23, 2014

And They're In

I stopped to get coffee today at one of my usual spots and ordered unusually, a small one with one shot. The gal I always see is there, she pauses and stares at me with no sound coming out of her mouth at first, dumbfounded by what I have ordered. Finally, asking how do you go from a 20oz quad shot to 8oz of one? What do I say?


Well, I believe we left off with...and there were four, but only two looked viable....oh, and.... I was terrified if there were none. And here is more of the story...

On the day of the transfer, I got the phone call from the embryologist. Only two looked like they would be good to go with a possibility of freezing one more, giving it would develop more in its little petrie dish. So as of then, there would be a transfer of two embryos. I was happy, but sad. Now I truly have one shot, and only one shot to get this right. Great odds, right?

Jeremy and I got to Oregon Reproductive way ahead of schedule and I did exactly what they asked - Empty your bladder one hour before your arrival and drink about 26oz of water casually. A full bladder is what they needed to make this transfer a success. Well, haha, my bladder was going to explode if I did not empty it by the time I got there. I walked back to my room in a hunch to alleviate the pain of my bladder screaming to keep it all in. I had to change into my gown, still with a full bladder. A difficult task without an accident, but oh yes, things would get harder.

My nurse was fantastic, loved her. She asked me if I wanted to empty my bladder....and I said, sure, thinking they would just make me lay there until my bladder filled back up. Oh no, she gave me a cup, about 12oz. This would be all I could empty from my bladder.

I gave her the dumbest look, wanted to laugh, but knew if I did, urine would be everywhere. Um....How do I stop the flow of urine, completely, after only 12oz emptied. And what if 12oz was all I had in there? She assured me it was possible.

I get to the bathroom, degown, wanting nothing in the way of this event, position myself to pee in the cup and mentally prepare to stop it once full. Ready, set, pee.

hahahahahahahahahaha, it is virtually impossible to know where to put the cup to pee in it when you have to go that bad. I missed....alot. Ok, time to stop, difficult. I must of sat there five minutes just to convince my muscles to "shut it off." No way, it worked, I stopped the flow. I was pretty proud of myself. But my bladder still felt ridiculously full and I went more than I can hold alot of pee. I wash up, gown up, wash up, proud of my accomplishment, and walk back to my room, telling Jeremy all about my big adventure as soon as I get back into bed. He laughed at me.

Back comes my nurse and she ultrasounds my bladder. But right then my doctor walks in and says I can empty a little more if I need to, she was hesitant, but he seemed sure. I took a new cup and prepared my plan in my head walking to the bathroom, I was going to do better this time.

Nope, same result, impossible, and took longer to shut it off. I felt much better, that is all that mattered.


And transfer time. My embryos are ready to go....

I am rolled into the room, Valium swallowed down, assume the position. There is no modesty in any of this and you really have to go to a different place to feel ok about the invasiveness of it all. At one point my nurse, doctor and embryologist were all in between my legs inserting the embryo, staring at the ultrasound to find the landing.

I wanted so badly to laugh out loud, thinking how does one get themselves to this point, seriously, this is funny. The things we will do.....

And we are done.

It is simply amazing how the body can be tricked into all of this to become pregnant. Truly amazing.

I drive home, stay in bed for 36 hours, bored to death, a lot of TV watched, and back to normal.


And wait.....10 days, first pregnancy test, can't wait. Tomorrow morning cannot come soon enough.


I might be pregnant is what I say. Might be.

Oh, and maybe I failed to mention - remember the lone embryo trying to grow in his dish? He didn't make it. Maybe it was a she. There are no more chances.

Tomorrow seems so far away.

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