Surgery, what?

Thursday, September 16th, 2010
So, my faith in the system has failed. I get a voicemail today from some Mary at registration and I need to call her back. I call her back immediately because I have no idea what I am registering for, but I know it is from the hospital from the phone number.

"Hello, this is Stephanie Kerst, is Mary available?"

"This is."

"Hi there, this is Stephanie Kerst, I received a message from you a few minutes ago that I needed to call you and register."

Mary says, "What are you registering for?"

"I have no idea."

Mary says, "Well you have to be registering for something, you called me."

Frustration with this dummy is building at this point, my phone is on speaker while I am driving, and I am in a hurry to get back to work, "Mary you just called me two minutes ago, leaving me a message to call you back to register. I am sure somewhere in your paperwork, you will find my name and it tells you what surgery I am having done or who ordered it."

I hear nothing but rifling through papers, and then, "What's your name?"

Steam is coming out of my head, I am in need of pulling over to really explain to this woman how to do her job, "Stephanie Kerst, K-E-R-S-T." I say this very slowly so she is able to spell and comprehend at the same time.

"Stephanie I am not finding you anywhere, I don't know why we called.... that was K-E-R-T right?"

Do you feel my pain right now, I repeat, "K----E----R---S---T," very slowly so she won't miss a thing and really emphasize and articulate my last name.

"Oh, ha ha," she says, "Here you are. OK, lets see we need to get you registered (she is laughing, why is she thinking this is funny, I don't think this is funny, and she says, ha ha, what is wrong with her?)

"Your date of birth?" and she continues to go into the list of questions they ask, address, phone, emergency contacts, etc.

I answer them all still waiting to hear what my surgery is and who ordered it, but I let her finish. She is done, I ask, and she says it was scheduled by my surgical oncologist for Monday the 20th and I needed to be there at 6am. I tell her it is wrong, she continues to argue with me and the paperwork says, I stop the loop, say thank you, hang up and call the oncologist. After waiting on hold for Pam, the nurse, we get it all squared away, and they didn't order it, but the registration desk read the MRI order as a surgery.

Where did all the smart people go?

On another note, it is day five of my raw food diet, and it is going really well. I turned down all kinds of chocolate yesterday during a meeting, who does that? I feel great (well sometimes the bowels start talking to me and I have to listen and head to the nearest bathroom), look great, love it. I have lost about seven pounds, but I am thinking that is due to all the trips to the bathroom. At this point it isn't the weight loss, but the healthy body. I am keeping this up and will be ready to have surgery when it is supposed to get here and not when Mary thinks I am scheduled.

I won't know surgery dates until after Wednesday probably, and I have to still make my decision as to whether it is lumpectomy with radiation or total masectomy and reconstruction. Decisions, decisions, decisions - Sure wish the doc could make it for me.