So, this morning was much easier to leave on time, actually early. This was good news I was getting so it seems and couldn't wait to get there. Jeremy went to work at his 6am time and so I picked him up in Salem on the way, we stopped at Starbucks and were on our way. Nothing eventful as far as driving this time, found it, parked, got lost, then Jeremy read the big sign on the wall and we headed the right way. Yeah for him!
We are still early, about 45 minutes, but we are here. And we wait.
"Stephanie.." that's my name, we are up. Mind my heart is racing, again my blood pressure was really high, I had a ton of anxiety.
After the preliminaries we meet Dr. Bankowski. Very soft spoken, nice man, and he begins with the woman and her cycle. Explaining how ovulation happens, the chemicals involved, and how the procdure works. I listened intently to the entire thing and did really well holding it together, and as he ended I just couldn't keep it in anymore, I just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Jeremy wrapped his arms around me and we just sat there. Right when I thought something would never happen, here I was sitting here with a doctor and he is going to give me all the right stuff to give us a chance of having our very own child when this is all done. Are you kidding me, this great news doesn't happen to us, all we have gotten is bad news, this is a dream. The doctor sat there quietly.
When I was done crying, we went into an exam room and had to do a vaginal ultrasound to see if I was even a candidate. There is a timing issue with all of this and it needed to all start on the third day of my period . . . . today was day 3. So, we needed to look at my ovaries to see how many eggs I even had in there at my age. I was so excited but frightful of what he might find since I am older and would I have enough eggs to even do this. But I had hope it would be great.
"Ok, so this is your right ovary and these are the eggs - the black spots. Your biggest one is about 7mm.... There are 12 in there, that is good. And to your left one there is about 12 more, looks great." He checks for polyps or anything else that might be a hinderance and we are done. Things are awesome and we can move forward with everything. Still not sure what that means or how this all works, but it does.
Now we meet with the financial person... OK here comes the bad news and we are going to walk right out of here because I don't have any money right now to give them. We go over the costs associated, the funds we are going to apply for through Fertile Hope and the Live Strong foundation. The heavily disounted price is something we will need to pay but can pay over time, and on and on and on. No mention of needing money now. Then we move to another room for teaching.
Dr. Bankowski comes back in and says everything looks great, and we are going to start now. He was going to wait and push my body through another cycle but things looked really good right now and he doesn't want to make me wait for chemo any longer than I need to. My egg production is like that of a 25 year old, and the meds I will be on are very low dose for starters, something they would give to a 22 year old donor. Also my blood work looked great, there are no issues. Things are looking good.
WOW, there is a lot to learn when you are going to have your eggs harvested, and all the meds you have to take and exact times. UGH! I have never been very good at taking pills, let alone now I have to give myself shots, are you kidding me. Not just one a day, but two and in a couple of days it is three a day.... Yeah for me. The teaching session lasted about 2 hours and Jeremy and I learned how to inject them into my belly, the way to mix them, how to use the needles, etc. Jeremy did awesome, and I think he rather enjoyed the thought of sticking me with a needle. But when it came to give me my first shot in the office, he deferred to the nurse to give me my first one. Deep down I think he would rather not stick me with a needle.
Anxiety galore. Really, who likes or wants to be stuck with a stupid needle, surely not me. My hear is racing. But here comes the needle to my belly. Stick, ah sting, not so great, not so bad, all done, a little stinging and then a little muscle cramping feeling. Not that bad, but not great. The cramping feeling lasted about 10 minutes then it was over. Our teaching session was done, Carol left the room to get the doctor and the tears just started coming again. I felt overwhelmed, excited, like i was in a dream and I was going to wake up at any time. Jeremy says, "I still don't think this has all sunk in yet that this is really happening." He wrapped his arms around me and told me it was going to be alright. It felt good to have him there. He was being absolutley amazing throught the entire thing. He was coming back to the Jeremy that I needed through all of this. Things are going to be OK.
Dr. Bankowski comes back in, asks if there are anymore questions, good luck and we will see you in a couple of days. "OK," and we head out.
Next appointment is Friday, and then it could be every day, every other day, whatever my body is telling them when they take the tests - ultrasounds and blood draws. And we will harvest the eggs in 10-12 days. Going to be a ton of driving and gas money, hope its all worth it in the end.....
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