Sunday, October 10, 2010


Tuesday, October 5th ,2010
Funny how waking up from surgery, your mind is talking, but nothing comes out….
 “Man it’s bright in here, will someone please turn those things down?”
“We need to start getting the girls in the cage.” I was actually dreaming about coaching and the Philomath Softball Field when I came to and had to snap out of that.
“Shut up, I am trying to sleep here.”
“What am I doing here and why does my breathing hurt so much?”
Tears, can’t move, pain is unbearable, try talking but can’t, Dr. Faddis holds my hand sees my eyes open and says I did great…. More tears…. He comforts me… Asks about the pain, I get out, “it hurts to breath so much.” Tears won’t stop. And it is the kind of tears from shear pain and not from anything else. “Don’t worry,” he says, and calls the nurse over immediately and they shoot me with something, I feel nothing. My doctor is wonderful….. tears, again.
I asked for Jeremy about 10,000 times, couldn’t wait to see him. Or I should say, him to see me, that I was OK, and that he could now be OK. He worries and cares and worries. He loves me, I love him, and I needed to see him. I remember the last time I asked, the nurse got a little pissy with me, and called some people over and said, “Take her to see her husband, hurry.” I smiled, more tears.
I do want to pause in the story and say that these ‘drivers’ of surgery people need to take a course or something, mine were terrible. We must have bumped into everything imaginable, are you kidding me – WOW! They even ran into the elevator as they were pushing me in AND out. At the out point, I did say, “Can you please pay attention to where you are going, this isn’t a carnival ride for me.” I heard, “sorry,” but she didn’t say it with meaning. Although we only hit two more times into things. I think I might start some Obstacle Driving Hospital Beds course at LBCC or something (not sure I can, but I think it is good class to start…).
And I see Jeremy, more tears…. My mom, more tears…. A ton more pain, more tears. Time in room 2:15p.m. I was in recovery quite awhile for I couldn’t manage my pain. Jeremy told me I could have visitors from 2-8 and they had to be over 16. I asked about Mason and Hadley and if they could come see me? My nurse asked how old they were and who they were. My neice and nephew, ages 5 and 3. She said they had to be our kids, we said but they are what we have. More tears. Jeremy asked if the dogs could come see me since those were our kids? Oh and the cats too. She smiled. Rema, my wonderful nurse, worked her magic and got permission, they would be coming to see me tomorrow. I couldn't wait.

At around some time (can’t remember), my doctor came in and asked me about my pain, held my hand, tears, and I couldn’t lie anymore, it hurt like hell and whatever was in the pump was not helping. He changed it immediately (well had someone else do it), and apparently it is the best. It really did make the pain stop, I was much better. I love my doctor.
I also couldn’t keep anything down, and I was talking with Jeremy and my mom, and I said, “I think I am going to throw up.” I don’t know who handed me the bag, but it took a bit, I could feel it coming and don’t know which one said it, “You are turning green!” And then I vomited, color came back, felt fine, no nausea. That would have been a great photo op for sure. Jeremy should have been ready. Green looks good on me I think. And it went like that all night. Thank god all I had in me was liquids, that feels much better coming up than real food.  
I had company for most of the time from then until 7p.m. I appreciated it. It really kept my mind off of the tremendous pain I was feeling. At 9p.m. Jeremy went home, he had to be to work at 6am the next morning. I was going to miss him. I love him tons you know.

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